It’s good that we’re not wasting our time

I don’t know if this thing exists in real life, but if it doesn’t, I’m going to name it to weigh it down on earth : “extra kindness."

People do things with a purpose, even if an non-intentional walk is intended for a leisure moment allowing your head blank. Philip Seymour Hoffman in The Ides of March said to Ryan Gosling :

" No Stephen. You didn’t make a mistake. You made a choice. You called me and left a message to call back…that it was important. But when I did…you said to forget about it. You chose not to tell me. Why did you make that choice? “

Of course sneaky Ryan replied: “I didn’t think it was important."

Philip won’t let him, he pushed:

“Sure you did. But you went because you were curious, because you were flattered. Because it made you feel special to think Duffy wanted to speak to you instead of me."

Yes of course, you do everything for a reason. You won’t admit cuz you’re not sure yet if it will get there.

I’m recently spending time with a man, and to be frankly, I spend more time and energy on him than on my kids.

This has been seen by my mom, who pushes me back to the right track.

I keep telling myself, this is nothing, he’s just nice. We’re just friends getting along. But the truth is he’s still married despite what he said. And most of all, probably proves that he’s a good person material cuz he never said “I love you", “I adore you", “I like you", “I have a thing with you." And who would talk with someone everyday online, saying good morning and good night, asking how are you? what are you doing? how’s morning/lunch/evening/nighttime/late night there pretty much everyday?

And I realize that despite I act like (and thought I think and feel in the same way) it’s casual, fun and stuff. I was eating frozen cheesecake from cheesecake factory and had no magic bubble around when the entire night I didn’t get any msg from him. So, I think I want to go forward. And this moment he’s just a person who listens, responds nicely and appropriately, and happens to be a guy. Should be able to withdraw from this asap.

I want to appreciate myself a bit more. Maybe what I was neglected is that I do enjoy being alone.

And… Gosh, I need to focus on my work a bit more seriously, I’m super super slow.